Not So Perfect Fairytale

Just about 2 weeks ago I was having the hardest time of my life. Well actually it was more like through the month of March and somewhat through a bit of April too. It was just like nothing went my way and everything seemed to be against me. And don't even get me started on this nut job who took my bestie for a ride and dropped him like a hot potato after shit happened.(no, it wasn't that shit and she did apologise after that) I swear I was so pissed on his behalf I felt like stabbing her a million times. (True story. I was leaping off the bed and had to be held down)

And then of course you have the usual heart breaking shit, and feeling so fucking insecure and unworthy that you just wanna bury yourself deep into the soil. *if you don't know what I am talking about, refer to my previous post please <3*

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But I am just so happy that all that shit is over and right now I am just the happiest little fluff ball alive on this planet.

Because it's 2am in the morning and I am half asleep, I will just let the picture do the talking~

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I am not saying that it is easy waiting for someone. It most definitely is not. You guys have no idea how many times I gave up on this retard and fell back in love with him again over the years. And I am glad I did.

I watched this asshole grow from an insensitive guy who only cared about himself to someone who offers to hold my shit, and opens doors for me. This was the same dumbass who used to take "I'm fine", "its nothing", etc seriously. But now he knows that something is wrong the moment my tone changes just a little. He used to be someone who never cared about how I felt. As long as he was happy, everything else did not matter. (except basketball, and his guys) But now he makes an effort to ask me what happened and just listen to me rant and be a total bitch. This retard never ever left me no matter how screwed up or drunk or retarded I was because he promised.

And he is the most gentlemanly shit you will ever find. No.. Wait. He is like a badass with a warm heart.

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Trust me, to be able to watch someone change their attitude towards you and start treating you like you actually matter, is something really really wonderful. It's one of those feelings you can never put in words simply because it just feels so amazing and heart warming.

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I am not saying that he/she will feel the same about you. After all you love them because you just do, not because you want them to feel the same.

It is all up to you to determine if that person is worth the wait. You are going to cry your ass out, have sleepless nights, think about them all the time to the extent that you just want to rip your head into pieces. And finally you are going to feel fucking insecure because you will never know if someone else will just walk into their life and get them without even trying as hard as you did, or waiting as long as you. That person may not even love them as much as you do. Shit is going to happen, but it is all up to you to choose if you want to stay till the very end and fight, or if you want to let them go because of whatever reason you may have.

But keep in mind that YOU MATTER. It ain't all about them. You matter too. You have every single right to just walk away and ever look back. Just as you have the right to push anyone away and say "back off, he's mine. I fought hard to keep him." Whatever floats your boat and whatever gets you the best outcome. No one has the right to take the smile away from your face. So DO NOT let that happen. At the end of the day, you need to be happy too. So don't let your heart do all the talking, let your brain have a say in it too. You will thank your brain someday for saving your butt.

"No pain, no gain"
"Good things come to those who wait."
"There is no such thing as a perfect fairytale. If you believe that it is, then it will be. Otherwise It is nothing more than just another story of great pain and sorrow."