The less you care the less you get hurt.
The less you expect, the more easily you are satisfied.
The less emotionally involved you get, the less you cry.
It doesn't help if you have people harping on your flaws everyday.
Or if you have people you care so much for giving up on you all the time.
Talk is cheap.
It does not even cost a cent.
Then when you are screwed and you feel so horrible, everyone runs.
Either that or they try for a bit, then they decide that they cannot handle your shit and just walk away.
Very helpful indeed.
Or you just keep losing people one by one,.
They just become more and more distant even though they say they are not.
You can actually feel it in your bones.
Like...
Why did you ever come into my life if all you are ever going to do is give up on me and walk away?
You might as well just stay out right?
I'd rather not hear from you than put up with having your cold replies.
.
.
.
Sometimes I swear I really just want to rip my heart out.
I never asked to have feelings in the first place.
So why give it to me?
I am trying so hard to stay sane.
But it seems almost impossible.
It is even harder to not cry myself to sleep at night
And much worse to keep myself from punching walls at ungodly hours.
It seems the hardest to just wake up really feeling okay because I know I am really dying on the inside.
Or because everyday I wake up, I might just be a day closer to losing the people I love.
I don't see the joy in that.
Not when it is you I might be losing.
I just cannot do this anymore.
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